May 8, 2008 by Susan Heim
by Susan M. Heim
- You must have your hands full!
- Are they identical? (especially if they are clearly a boy
and girl)
- Did you use fertility drugs?
- Do twins run in your family?
- Better you than me!
- How do you tell them apart?
- Are they all yours?
- Which one is the smart one?
- You're lucky you got your family all in one shot.
- I always wanted to have twins!
Comments
Comments & questions for twin moms
"How do you do it?" Or when you see another mom with one child and they say " I know what it's like , how are you doing it? " I simply answer " I really cannot answer that question ! " Or I reply with one word "COFFEE" ! I have five children ages 20,7,5 & 17 month old twins . Can honestly say " What was I thinking!" But at the same how blessed I am .
Hi kate my name is jolene I
Hi kate my name is jolene I about to have twin girls and already have a 12,9,3 year old boys, I am scared that i won't be able to handle two more babies any advice you can give me
thanks for your time
Can't Be Twins
I love having to explain to people that my 3 year old boy/girl twins are really twins. Some people actually think that since they are different genders that they can't be twins. So, I have to be a scientist and explain how it is possible. They fight with me that it isn't possible. I want to say I was in the delivery room and yes they did both come out of me at the same time.
Are they yours?
When my twin boys were about 8 weeks, we went to gymnastics for one of my daughters and someone asked if they were identical, to which I replied, we really aren't sure. Then a woman who walked by us said, "well, are they both yours?" I wanted to say, no I drove around all day trying to find a baby the same age and size just for this!
I've also been asked if we were trying for twins (I guess we just missed the first 3 times and fourth time..score!!) I think that was her "polite" way of asking if we used fertility treatments. She knew these were my 4th and 5th children.
Of course, my absolute favorite..you finally got your boys. I have 3 girls, then twin boys. People don't understand we wanted more children..no matter the gender.
Finally, since I had the boys in November, 2 of my girls were usually in school when we went to the doctor's appointments, so one day I had to take my daughters before school for an appointment and the receptionist said to me as I walk in with my 5 children, "I didn't know you did daycare."
Thank God for other moms and patience.
10 Things....
Oh yes,
Whenever I decide to go out with my twins, which is rare, I get asked all these questions. I just grin and bear it...Sometimes, I have to respond, but other times, I just answer these people who just have to be nosey...
I guess seeing twins, even fraternal twins, is something people feel the need to comment on. Twins are a miracle from the Lord and I guess something others only wish they could understand.
good come back
A good come back for the "Better you than me!" comment, Just say "Obviously......."
Now if I could just say that to my sister in-law maybe she would shut up!
This!
We get all of these questions constantly walking through the store with our triplet store, our 1 year old twin boys and our two year old daughter. I do love this response though. My husband and I have started taking bets on how many times we will get the "You must have your hands full!" comment, since that seems to be the favorite. I always want to throw up my hands and say, "No! See? I have this cool stroller!! Look! No hands!" and smile wildly. I guess exhaustion makes me fantasize about all the things I'd love to say to all the people that make these ridiculous remarks to me when I just want to go get a gallon of milk!
top 10 things never to say to a mom of twins
"which one is the "good" one and which one is the "bad" one?
but the worst thing anyone ever said to me was when I was walking around the neighborhood with my twin boys and my baby girl. Mind you, I was 30 before I got pregnant and being diabetic for 15 years my doctors were unsure if I could have a healthy pregnancy! so, I had my twin boys, and they were 9 months old when I got pregnant by surprise with my baby girl!
so, this mom comes out of her house just to look at my 3 little ones in my triple stroller and say to me:
"you could try watching some TV instead of having sex all the time, then you wouldn't have that problem!"
pointing to my kids!!!
some people are just strange!!
ShannonMarie
Twin Comments
I had someone say to me about my FRATERNAL twins- "They are not twins, twins look alike....yours do not!"
I am also constantly asked which one is the "difficult one?"
My boys are fraternal twins,
My boys are fraternal twins, but one takes after me, and the other takes after his father. So one is blonde and skinny, and the other is brunette and big. People don't believe they're twins and argue that one must be older. It's like hello...they came out of me...I think I'd know if they were born at the same time.
Fraternal Twins Are "Real" Twins
Isn't it maddening when people think that fraternal twins aren't "real" twins? It's almost if they're the "lesser class" of twins. Grrrr!
Susan M. Heim is the author of It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence and Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons.
Are they real?
I actually had someone ask me the other day which one is the bad one! I couldn't believe it!
The other unbelievable question I get a lot is "Are they real?" as in - did you have twins naturally or with fertility drugs. They may as well ask me how my ovaries are doing! I've learned to just grin & bear it, and tell them that we were just lucky. :)
or
"I can tell them apart. Bridget is the fat one...Margaret the skinny one!"
People can be so rude!
It's hard to believe that some people can say such horrible things, like "Oh, she's the pretty one," or "he must be the smart one." Terrible! It's really cruel to compare twins (or any kids, for that matter) like that.
Susan M. Heim is the author of It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence and Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons.