Survival Tactics for Parents of Baby Twins

By Jennifer Walker, RN, BSN and Laura Hunter, LPN

1. If one baby eats, they both eat--period. Even if one twin does not appear hungry, feed that one anyway. Keep them on the exact same schedule and we mean it! It is okay to put them both in bouncy seats and feed them simultaneously with bottles. Just remember to talk softly to both of them and give them each a few minutes of your full attention. Breast-feeders can hold both babies in the football hold and feed at the same time.

(Jennifer--I did not like the way simultaneous breastfeeding felt and decided to breastfeed one baby and bottle feed the other on an alternating basis. At each feeding, whoever bottle fed last time became the breast feeder and the other one got the bottle. I would breastfeed the one baby in the cradle hold while holding a bottle in the other baby's mouth with my "free" hand. The baby with the bottle was generally propped up on a nearby bouncy seat or Boppy® pillow. This way they both were getting at least half of their nutrition from breast milk every day. And they were fed, burped and changed in 45 minutes!)

It is also good to allow Dad to feed the babies sometimes, whether that is in the middle of the night, or one feeding during the day while you nap. He can feed both with pumped breast milk from a bottle or formula. It gives Dad a chance to have that much needed interaction.

2. When one baby sleeps, the other does also. Naptimes and bedtimes are the same. (See #4 for specific guidelines for "Bedtime.") Again, one baby may not seem sleepy at the same time as the other. This is survival mode. They will learn to be on the same schedule. This is part of learning to live in a family environment. One twin may have to learn to sleep more to accommodate the family schedule.

Some parents like to stagger the naptimes so they have an hour to spend with one baby at a time. Once they get to 4 or 5 months old, this is fine. The feeding and changing schedules prior to that time are entirely too time-consuming (unless you have helpers, like a night nurse, nanny or live-in family member).

3. Use your helpers. In the first two or three years (honestly), you will be absolutely exhausted. If grandma comes for a visit one day, allow her to watch the babies while you nap for an hour or two. If neighbors or friends ask how they can help, allow them to make a meal or arrange for household chores. Many people would love to help if they just had a tangible thing to do. Let others make meals for you. If someone you trust offers to babysit, say "That sounds great; when are you available?" Think of it this way: the more you allow others to help, the more time you will have to actually enjoy your twins!

4. Use the Moms on Call Method of getting your babies to sleep. As early as 5 weeks old, your babies can be bathed, fed and sleeping 5-9 hours per night. This will make the hectic days so much easier. We do realize that some moms do not have the extra hands around at night. Also, single parents of twins are more likely to have to do the "Bath time" and "Bed time" routines alone. So, here is a way to do the "Bath time" and "Bed time" routines if you are alone.

Put both babies in the bouncy seat in the bathroom. Give them a bath, one at a time. While one takes a bath, the other waits and may cry or fuss. Once they are both bathed and both sitting in their towels in the bouncy seats, take them one at a time (bouncy seat and all) to get dressed in the nursery. Place one baby outside the door to the bathroom in the bouncy seat, then immediately place the other outside the door and close the door to the bathroom while the bath water is draining out of the tub. Put the first baby to get dressed back in the bouncy seat momentarily while you dress the other baby. So, when they are both dressed and back in the bouncy seats in the nursery, play soft music; feed them their last nighttime feeding (don't forget to burp them). If under three months of age, swaddle tightly and effectively using the Moms on Call method. (See the DVD to learn to swaddle like a pro.) Place them in the crib; turn on the white noise and turn off the lights. The babies can sleep in the same crib or separate cribs. They can even have their own room, if you have the space. Take your cues from them. Nighttime crying takes on new meaning with multiples. However, we have often found that one twin can wake and scream while the other sleeps as if nothing is happening, so do not assume that the crying child will wake the sleeping child . . . wait and see. When you have a firm nighttime routine, even if the sleeping child awakens, they can both learn to soothe themselves to sleep if given three nights of consistency. I know that you do not want the "good sleeper" to have to suffer, but his/her help is needed in teaching the other twin that screaming does not get you an automatic "get out of crib free" card.

5. Remember, it gets easier as they get older. Twins are incredibly labor intensive for the first three years. Double the work, but double the love! The great news is that they will hit a period of time when they are continuous playmates. It is easier to have two 18 month olds, because you are not their only source of entertainment. They will play together and keep each other amused for years. It is wonderful. (Jennifer--My mom is a twin and she described it this way: "Having a twin is not like having another brother or sister; it's like having another you.")

Excerpted from The Moms on Call Guide to Basic Baby Care (complete with how-to DVD) by Laura Hunter, LPN and Jennifer Walker, RN, BSN. The authors are both pediatric nurses and mothers of twins. Stop by www.momsoncall.com for more information.