by Susan M. Heim
Multiples pose
a unique parenting challenge, whether they're in the womb or in high school! These
quick tips can help parents survive and, yes, even thrive during their
multiples' many ages and stages.
Twins' Pregnancy
Women who
are pregnant with multiples are considered at "high risk" for complications, so
it's especially important that a woman take good care of herself. Here's how:
- If
you're working outside the home, don't count on being able to work right
up to your due date, even if you have in the past. The extra stress placed
on your body by a twins' pregnancy will make it much harder for you to
work during your last trimester. Make plans now to ease the transition to
an early maternity leave.
- Get
plenty of rest. A twins' pregnancy will exhaust you much more quickly than
other pregnancies. Take frequent naps and plan early bedtimes.
- Know
the signs of premature labor. Women who are pregnant with multiples are
especially prone to giving birth early, which places the babies at risk.
Be sure to contact your doctor at the first sign of possible labor.
- Get
big projects out of the way early in your pregnancy. If you're planning on
redecorating the babies' room, taking a vacation or attending a cooking
class, do it now in case you're placed on bed rest later in the pregnancy.
Twin Babies
The first
year is definitely the toughest for parents of multiples. No sleep, frequent
feeding demands, and prematurity issues are all common. Here's help:
- Accept
any assistance that's offered. Don't think you can do it all by yourself.
Allow others to help out with cooking, housework, and bottle-feeding
formula or expressed breastmilk.
- Don't
forget that your spouse needs attention, too. Even small gestures like
letting your partner sleep in one morning are greatly appreciated! Don't
forget to hold hands and coo over your beautiful babies together.
- Keep a
schedule of your babies' sleeping, eating, and elimination habits. This
information is helpful not only for the pediatrician, but also for
sleep-deprived parents who often can't remember which baby ate last!
- Join a
multiples group, even if it's only online. Other parents of multiples can
provide valuable support and tips for raising twins.
Twin Toddlers &
Preschoolers
Once your
twins are mobile, there's no stopping them! Multiples are notorious for being
mischievous. Some sanity-saving tips are in order:
- Make
sure you have gates, child safety locks, and all necessary child-proofing
materials in place well before they're needed. Before you know it, your
little ones will be scheming with each other about how to get all the food
out of the refrigerator!
- Fortunately,
toddlers are easily entertained. When they get tired of their toys,
"invent" new ones by bringing out the plastic storage containers, drinking
straws, bubble blowers, or empty boxes.
- Swap
play dates with another parent. Offer to have her kids over to your house
one afternoon while she has time to herself, and let her reciprocate on
another day. Resist the temptation to do chores, and do something special
for yourself during this time!
- Spread
out your errands. A full day of shopping is often just too much for twin
toddlers to handle. Avoid public meltdowns by visiting only one or two
stores during each outing.
Twin Kids
Life is
getting a little easier now that your twins are out of the preschool years, but
there are still plenty of challenges to be dealt with. Here's how to prepare:
- Check
with your school district before your twins start school to see if they
have a policy for school placement of multiples. Some schools require that
twins be placed in separate classrooms. Make sure your school's policy, if
it has one, is in sync with your wishes. If not, you may need to check
into a private school or another school district.
- Ward
off fights by having a "quiet time" every day for each child to spend some
time alone, reading or working on a craft project.
- It's
okay to have a joint birthday party, but make sure each twin gets her own
cake, birthday song and gifts. Ask each child how you can make the day
special just for her.
- Encourage
your multiples to play with other children. It's not healthy to rely only
on each other for companionship. If they share a classroom, check with
their teacher to make sure they're making friends with other kids.
Twin 'Tweens &
Teens
Raising
'tweens and teens is challenging for any parent, but with twins, it's
magnified! Here's how to ward-off parental meltdown:
- If
your twins have shared a room up to this point, they may start requesting
more "space" in their lives. Teenagers often have a great need for
privacy, even if they get along well with their siblings. Consider letting
your twins have their own rooms if possible.
- It's
especially important at this age to encourage individuality. Don't be
concerned if your twins tend to drift apart at this age and seek out their
own friends. This is perfectly normal and even healthy.
- Continue
to nurture your marriage during your multiples' teen years. Present a
united front when meting out discipline, and reserve a date night when you
won't be running the kids to soccer, dance class or friends' houses.
- If
your twins plan to attend college, check into scholarships tailored
especially for families with twins. Several colleges and organizations
offer them, while others offer tuition breaks for families with more than
one child at the school.
