Helping Children Adjust to the Arrival of Twin Siblings

The arrival of twins can be an adjustment for the whole family. Suddenly, the baby twins are getting all of the attention, and older siblings are feeling left out of the picture. Here's how to make them feel special, too.

• Avoid making your older child the "nanny." If she's constantly being called on to take care of the twins, she'll resent the extra work that's been created for her with the twins' birth. Instead, encourage her to interact with your twins in positive activities together, like singing songs or going for walks.
• Respect your older child's right to privacy. He shouldn't have to share everything with the twins. Allow him to have things that are just for him, and enforce the rules limiting your twins' time in his room. Nothing makes an older sibling madder than having little brothers or sisters in their "stuff"!
• If strangers are giving your twins all of the attention, remind them of how special your older child is, too! Tell people how great your older child is doing in school or what a great artist she is! Let her hear that you're proud of her.
• Help your older child understand that the twins are his, too. Avoid calling the twins "mommy's babies," and emphasize that he's getting new sisters! They are a gift to him, as well as to you. Try to promote family unity, of which your older child is still a very important part.
• Give your older child some one-on-one time. This can be difficult when the twins are young, but it's very important. Perhaps Daddy can take the older child on a father/son trip to McDonald's or playing miniature golf. Emphasize to your older child that this is his very own special time with Daddy or Mommy. Perhaps the grandparents can also be enlisted to make sure that your older child continues to get individual attention.