My BF owns his own resturant and is never home to help me. I has been this way since they were born. I haven't been dealing with it very well because it seems to me that that is more important then me and the twins. He tells me its not but I really don't beleive him. I am just looking for some advice on how to deal with this and how other families deal with one person never being around to help with the day to day stuff. Thanks in advance for the advice.
I hear ya...
I honestly don't think you're less important, though I'm sure it feels that way. My BF works ridiculous hours as well, plus he's in college at night... so he is NEVER here. What I do is just pretend I'm a single mom that doesn't have to juggle work and daycare. It helps me to see the positive side. It seems like it's easier to complain about him not being here because I do have a partner, and he's not here... but what if I didn't have a partner? I mean he really would NEVER be here. And I would have to hack it alone... and not have those fleeting moments of help and adult company. See where I'm going with this? If you just pretend and accept that you're a single mom, then it becomes easier to appreciate the time spent with him, rather than resenting him for the lack of help.
I don't know if that makes sense, because I'm up waaaaay too late... but I hope you get what I'm saying. My twins are 2 1/2 years now and it's way easier than before. But I still get caught up in yelling at him for not helping me with bathtime... a task I am fully capable of handling on my own. It's the needing a break factor. I get it and I empathize with you. Email me if you would like... it helps to have someone to vent to. I can give you more insight to how I deal with a work-a-holic. slvrchelsea@yahoo.com
-Chelsea